What the hell is Eurovision?
Sunday, May 24, 2015
Sixty years ago, a group of people got together and said "Well, it's been a while since the last war and we're doing pretty well with this peace lark, but how can we help give that peace a real chance to grow and develop?"
Someone else at the meeting said "If only there were a way to show all the nations of Europe that they have common ground, and a medium by which we could handily transmit this message!"
And someone else said "What about a song contest? And we could put it on that new fangled medium, television!"
Thus was born the Eurovision Song Contest. It was initially bankrolled by Britain, Germany, France, Spain and Italy- now known as The Big Five, the nations who do most of the donkey work involved in the competition.
The rules are simple. Each year, the member nations enter a song. The Big Five go through to the final automatically, as does the host nation, and everyone else sends their tune to a knockout round (the Semi Finals). It never used to be this way, but there are now 40 member nations and that results in a four hour TV show.
The final is kind of a big deal. Different nations treat it a little differently, so I'm only going to write about it from a UK perspective.
Why do we watch?
This boils down to the following basic reasons:
1: I want to pass comment on the acts and be sarcastic or witty.
There's more of this since the rise of social media, and Twitter especially is a terribly entertaining addition to the proceedings. Some of the Eastern European nations have the reputation for sending in material that is earnest and forthright and, to Western European eyes, occasionally batshit insane.
2: I'm watching ironically, at a party organised by people I know who aren't watching it ironically.
See below.
3: It's fun.
Eurovision, like the Oscars or the Superbowl, is a chance for people to organise a party. Watching the show is a lot more amusing when you have friends close by who can share your witty commentary on the songs, or just join in the singing once everyone has worked out the chorus. Very few parties are dry affairs, so the alcohol flows and us Brits indulge two passions at once: camp, and getting drunk.
Over the last couple of years, the European pop scene has got better, stronger and a lot more interesting. There's less earnest pleas for world peace and environmental responsibility, at the price of less sheer mind-popping fun, and more credible pop music. Eurovision is a chance to see what other countries think is decent music.
What's the politics about?
Essentially, you're supposed to vote for the best song. You can't vote for for your own entry, and in the UK the vote is decided by the public - a phone vote contributes half the decision - and a committee of music industry professionals. I have no idea how other nations do this.
What inevitably happens, though, is that blocs form.
Each nation votes for 12 songs. The most popular gets 12 points, the least popular gets 1. Songs that don't make a nation's top 12 get zero. It is possible to get a final score, after all nations have voted, to get the dreaded "null". This year there were 40 participants. So that's pretty humiliating.
The blocs are based on regional politics or shared culture. The Scandiwegians (Norway, Sweden, Finland, Denmark, Iceland) tend to vote for one another. The Eastern bloc tend to give Russia decent marks and vote for their neighbours too. Cyprus and Greece usually award one another 12 points.
Often, the Big Five get very low scores. Since they go straight through to the final, they can send any old nonsense (and the UK has, frequently, demonstrated that we treat the whole thing as a joke). This year France, Germany and Austria (the host nation) got very low scores. Germany got zero.
In the last couple of years, the audience has started to boo Russia. This has nothing to do with the song they send and everything to do with the fact that Eurovision is hugely popular with the Gay community. It's been the campest thing in the world for a very long time, but it's also been seen as a very accepting and open environment. Last year's winner, Conchita Wurst, is a bearded Trans woman who is also (from a heterosexual point of view) worryingly hot as well as being a talented vocalist. Europe, which is a fairly progressive place on the whole, occasionally uses Eurovision to send itself messages and that was a pretty clear one about acceptance and equality.
What?
The sending messages bit? Yeah. Member states routinely ignore the European Parliament, so Eurovision sometimes behaves like the continent's social conscience (and very occasionally it's subconscious). Because it's arty and outgoing, and a lot of Europe isn't, you get all kinds of news from Eurovision. This year, for example, quite a lot of nations are NOT happy with Mr. Putin and votes that should have been 12 points to Russia went elsewhere. The UK is repeatedly warned that Europe is worth taking seriously, and we should join the family instead of behaving like a teenager and standing outside the party pretending to smoke while desperately wanting to be in the middle of it all.
If you look at the Twitter activity across the evening, the UK was the most vocal. We care more about Eurovision than anyone else in Europe, or we're more prepared to sit around tweeting about it.
You're projecting a bit, there, Dave.
Yep. It's still true, though. As much as I love America (and I do), politically there's no point trying to be Uncle Sam's favourite. The USA doesn't play the game that way, everyone knows it and it's time we stopped trying to be the same.
What happens when you win?
You host the show next year. The act that wins gets pretty famous in the bits of Europe that aren't the UK. Other than that, I'm not sure. It's been a while since the UK won.
Why are Russia, Israel and Australia involved? They aren't in Europe!
Neither are quite a few of the other nations. Long story short? Politics. Apparently it got shown in China last night, so it'll be interesting to see what the Chinese audience made of it and we'll see if they decide to get involved in any capacity.
Read more...
Someone else at the meeting said "If only there were a way to show all the nations of Europe that they have common ground, and a medium by which we could handily transmit this message!"
And someone else said "What about a song contest? And we could put it on that new fangled medium, television!"
Thus was born the Eurovision Song Contest. It was initially bankrolled by Britain, Germany, France, Spain and Italy- now known as The Big Five, the nations who do most of the donkey work involved in the competition.
The rules are simple. Each year, the member nations enter a song. The Big Five go through to the final automatically, as does the host nation, and everyone else sends their tune to a knockout round (the Semi Finals). It never used to be this way, but there are now 40 member nations and that results in a four hour TV show.
The final is kind of a big deal. Different nations treat it a little differently, so I'm only going to write about it from a UK perspective.
Why do we watch?
This boils down to the following basic reasons:
1: I want to pass comment on the acts and be sarcastic or witty.
There's more of this since the rise of social media, and Twitter especially is a terribly entertaining addition to the proceedings. Some of the Eastern European nations have the reputation for sending in material that is earnest and forthright and, to Western European eyes, occasionally batshit insane.
2: I'm watching ironically, at a party organised by people I know who aren't watching it ironically.
See below.
3: It's fun.
Eurovision, like the Oscars or the Superbowl, is a chance for people to organise a party. Watching the show is a lot more amusing when you have friends close by who can share your witty commentary on the songs, or just join in the singing once everyone has worked out the chorus. Very few parties are dry affairs, so the alcohol flows and us Brits indulge two passions at once: camp, and getting drunk.
Over the last couple of years, the European pop scene has got better, stronger and a lot more interesting. There's less earnest pleas for world peace and environmental responsibility, at the price of less sheer mind-popping fun, and more credible pop music. Eurovision is a chance to see what other countries think is decent music.
What's the politics about?
Essentially, you're supposed to vote for the best song. You can't vote for for your own entry, and in the UK the vote is decided by the public - a phone vote contributes half the decision - and a committee of music industry professionals. I have no idea how other nations do this.
What inevitably happens, though, is that blocs form.
Each nation votes for 12 songs. The most popular gets 12 points, the least popular gets 1. Songs that don't make a nation's top 12 get zero. It is possible to get a final score, after all nations have voted, to get the dreaded "null". This year there were 40 participants. So that's pretty humiliating.
The blocs are based on regional politics or shared culture. The Scandiwegians (Norway, Sweden, Finland, Denmark, Iceland) tend to vote for one another. The Eastern bloc tend to give Russia decent marks and vote for their neighbours too. Cyprus and Greece usually award one another 12 points.
Often, the Big Five get very low scores. Since they go straight through to the final, they can send any old nonsense (and the UK has, frequently, demonstrated that we treat the whole thing as a joke). This year France, Germany and Austria (the host nation) got very low scores. Germany got zero.
In the last couple of years, the audience has started to boo Russia. This has nothing to do with the song they send and everything to do with the fact that Eurovision is hugely popular with the Gay community. It's been the campest thing in the world for a very long time, but it's also been seen as a very accepting and open environment. Last year's winner, Conchita Wurst, is a bearded Trans woman who is also (from a heterosexual point of view) worryingly hot as well as being a talented vocalist. Europe, which is a fairly progressive place on the whole, occasionally uses Eurovision to send itself messages and that was a pretty clear one about acceptance and equality.
What?
The sending messages bit? Yeah. Member states routinely ignore the European Parliament, so Eurovision sometimes behaves like the continent's social conscience (and very occasionally it's subconscious). Because it's arty and outgoing, and a lot of Europe isn't, you get all kinds of news from Eurovision. This year, for example, quite a lot of nations are NOT happy with Mr. Putin and votes that should have been 12 points to Russia went elsewhere. The UK is repeatedly warned that Europe is worth taking seriously, and we should join the family instead of behaving like a teenager and standing outside the party pretending to smoke while desperately wanting to be in the middle of it all.
If you look at the Twitter activity across the evening, the UK was the most vocal. We care more about Eurovision than anyone else in Europe, or we're more prepared to sit around tweeting about it.
You're projecting a bit, there, Dave.
Yep. It's still true, though. As much as I love America (and I do), politically there's no point trying to be Uncle Sam's favourite. The USA doesn't play the game that way, everyone knows it and it's time we stopped trying to be the same.
What happens when you win?
You host the show next year. The act that wins gets pretty famous in the bits of Europe that aren't the UK. Other than that, I'm not sure. It's been a while since the UK won.
Why are Russia, Israel and Australia involved? They aren't in Europe!
Neither are quite a few of the other nations. Long story short? Politics. Apparently it got shown in China last night, so it'll be interesting to see what the Chinese audience made of it and we'll see if they decide to get involved in any capacity.
