I Think I Might Be Evil.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Only "might", because having seen the opportunity to do something potentially very evil I restrained myself.
One of the blogs I follow is currently displaying a post from a self-admittedly germophobe complaining about the preponderance of colds and the like.
Seeing this, the first thing that occurred to me was "I could sabotage this poor fool by telling him all about his keyboard". The thing about keyboards is that even if you take reasonable care to keep them clean, they still collect all the Yuck that positively sleets off the human body. And then Things grow in it. Terrible, infectious things that then plaster themselves to your skin just waiting for the slightest nick, the merest puncture, to facilitate their invasion and your transformation into a mass of suppurating agony.
Being part Shoggoth* I'm largely immune to human diseases, so the subject is one that provides much entertainment for me. A more evil chuckle still would have arisen from well meaning but deliberately misleading advice on the art of cleaning and disinfecting a keyboard. There are cleaning products available that will devour the average keyboard, leaving the poor blogger with a clean but non-functional input device and no way to express his or her rage.
I didn't, though.
For Good to triumph all that is required is for Evil men to feel a bit "meh".
*it's complicated, and you shouldn't ask because the answers will blast your sanity. It should be enough that you remember my middle names are "Squamous" and "Rugose". This is also why people sometimes think I'm Irish.
3 comments:
Well, if it's me you're talking about, i already know all about keyboards... ;o)
I have a protective ritual that involves an almost infinite amount of handwashing before and after touching the keyboard (and, yes, i know about hand washing being wildly ineffective when it comes to eradicating bacteria etc), plus frequent wiping with a cloth soaked in disinfectant of the keyboard itself (and i also know about all the things that won't be killed by disinfectant). I have a slightly sticky keyboard, and live in hope of the day when voice control/ dictation software become a practical reality... :o)
Yeah.
By the way, I recommend getting a UV light for practical disinfecting purposes.
As penance for evil thoughts, I shall provide linkage: Handy Home UV for Germ Killage .
It destroys nasties, even virii, but leaves keyboards standing.
There's also this: the Virtual Keyboard which projects a laser keyboard onto a flat surface. Disinfect the surface, turn the keyboard on, type, turn off, hose down with UV...perfect!
I'd use it myself, but I live for clicky noises.
lol And no need for penance :o)
I try, as much as i can, not to give in to my germphobia (most people use keyboards that are never disinfected, but very, very few of them are ever made ill by them), so i'll probably avoid things like UV light if i can. Apart from anything else i'd just get paranoid about getting skin cancer from the reflected uv rays, and have a whole new set of worries to replace the old ones... ;o)
But the virtual keyboard is very appealing in an "oh, look at the clever shiny thing" way... Have i mentioned that i'm a very shallow person? ;o)
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